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The April Fools Newsletter- #12

In our never ending quest to make Fluid Film a household name we have looked at some different marketing ideas to help increase product awareness and convince new users to try our product. After all, Fluid Film beats the pants off the competition. If you don’t believe that, look at some comparison tests or hear what some of our customers have to say.

Now, in order to target different markets, we have tried some different slogans and ideas. Here are a few ideas that just plain didn’t work or were soundly rejected:

1) The “Rhyming Jingle” Campaign:

Spray it on it and watch it Bubble
Fluid Film is Double Trouble
It lubricates and stops all rust
Buy a can or we’ll go bust.

Something just didn’t work with that one.

2) The “Fluid Film Day” Campaign:

We tried starting a new holiday called “Fluid Film Day,” where people would take the day off to lubricate and protect all their household, recreational and industrial equipment. We got a bill from the Governor because the only ones who listened were kids who thought they could take the day off from school.

The cost: $25,000.00 and a permanent letter in my folder.

3) The “Come-Up-With-Something-Better-Or-You’re-Fired” Campaign:

Immediately following the "Fluid Film Day" Campaign, this one led to sleepless nights, a gastric ulcer and IBS syndrome.

4) The “Celebrity Appearance” Campaign:

We couldn’t afford to get any well known celebrities, so we had to hire Bubbles the Clown to do parties and mall appearances. He’d spray Fluid Film in front of people to make them fall for laughs.

The cost: $50,000 in lawsuits and three months in intensive care after the boss found out.

5) The “China Ad” Campaign:

We tried to advertise in China, stating that “The Fluid Film spray outlasts all the competition.”
It translated as “Spray Fluid Film on yourself and it will make you more virile.”
First came big sales; then came big lawsuits.

The cost: $200,000 in yuan for lawsuits and a confiscated visa.

6) The “Fluid Film/Viagra Comparison” Campaign:

Trying to tout Fluid Film as the longest lasting and most potent corrosion preventive and lubricant, our marketing department worked on this one until someone pointed out that Fluid Film never dries or gets hard.

It had to be shelved.

If you have any interesting marketing campaign ideas of your own, write us and we’ll post them in our next newsletter.

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