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The Looking for Trouble Newsletter - #14
Well now, since the last newsletter was all about our mad scientist chemists and their attempts to blow up anything and everything ( just kidding guys), I thought I would throw in a little equal opportunity and talk about some of the other characters who work at Eureka. They don’t normally read the newsletter so I’m fairly confident that I won’t get jumped in the parking lot.
I’ll tell a few classic stories of bumbling and stumbling from our sales staff that have been passed around for quite a while. The first involves the button on a pair of pants and its inability to stay fastened due to a weight load that had exceeded its bursting point. One of our salesmen was enjoying one too many high-calorie meals on the road and was running late for the plane ride home. The weather was rainy and storming, and he had forgotten to bring an umbrella. As he was standing at the hotel door waiting for a chance to run for the car (I guess he was a little tense thinking about the coming exertion), the button on his pants popped off with such force it almost went through the glass door. You could hear this loud “ Ping!” and it ricocheted off and almost took out a woman standing nearby. He wasn’t wearing a belt so he had to hold his pants up. With his gut pushing down, his pants didn’t have a chance of staying up, so instead of being able to bolt for the car he had to hobble out with his suitcase in one hand and his pants being held up with the other. By the time he got to the car he was absolutely drenched. If there only could have been a camera nearby, I think we could have won some money.
The second story involves an old salesman who, like all of us, was a true believer in Fluid Film’s abilities and superior quality. He was going on a cross country road trip and was going to apply Fluid Film to the front of his bumper to keep bugs from sticking (Yes, it really works). The problem was that he was a little over-zealous in applying it and doused his entire hood with the stuff. (Remember, you can use Fluid Film as a car wax and it will really bring out an old, faded paint job, but you have to rub it in first just like a wax.) Leaving a heavy dose dripping down his hood he started his journey. Unfortunately he ran into some heavy rain, and the rain started washing the Fluid Film up onto his windshield. Once he hit his wipers the Fluid Film smeared all across the windshield, causing him to swerve to the side of the road to avoid a major collision. He no longer works here (not that great of a surprise), but at least his bumper was bug free.
I’ve got more stories, but I don’t feel like looking over my shoulder any more than I already do. Remember, Fluid Film is going to shine up just about anything. With no solvent content and a unique lanolin base, it will bring back faded paint jobs and shine up chrome, brass, aluminum, fiberglass and even wood. Try it for yourself and find out why Fluid Film is not only used to control corrosion: It will even keep the bugs off your bumper. Try saying that one ten times fast.
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