Eureka Fluid Film - About Fluid Film: Fluid Film Newsletter

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The April Fools Newsletter

Well, it’s April and my honey-do list is winding down (See last months newsletter for an explanation), so I am getting ready for some much needed R & R. I’ve booked a cruise to Alaska leaving tomorrow. It might be a little cold, but the scenery is just amazing and I’ve wanted to go for years. The wife has reluctantly agreed (She wanted a Mediterranean Cruise), but I pushed hard for this and am ready and excited to go. I plan on keeping a diary of each day’s events.

Day 1: The flight was fine once we were in the air, but man, boarding was rough. One of the overhead bins was a little tough to open when I put my bag in, so I pulled out my small sample can of Fluid Film I kept in my carry on luggage. I don’t know what they thought it was but I got tackled by security and handcuffed almost immediately before being hauled off and interrogated right up until the last boarding call. They ended up being really nice fellows and they’re going to start using Fluid Film on their guns from now on. They were just doing their job. When we made it to the port and boarded the ship, my wife was as quiet as the pool area sailing out of Whittier.

Day 2: Feeling pretty good. A little stiff from where I got tackled. Noticed a little corrosion on deck rails so I grabbed a rag and sprayed it down with fluid film, wiping it in as I went. Ran into one of the maintenance guys, talked about how excited I was to visit the first port and spoke of the wonders of Fluid Film. Really nice guy. Has a few ideas on where he could start using it. Wife just keeps shaking her head.

Day 3: Beautiful morning. Wife went off to port without me after I ran into the maintenance guy. He wanted to learn more about Fluid Film, and he’s a really nice guy, so we went below deck with my can to give a presentation to the head of maintenance. Seemed pretty impressed. I missed a whale sighting on deck but am looking forward to Juneau tomorrow. Wife got back and shook her head some more.

Day 4: It rained all morning and was freezing cold. While the wife did a little gambling I explained to the crew how Fluid Film could help keep ice from building up and locks from freezing. That created more conversation about different products. Ended up selling them some Liquid A for inside the rudder and anchor locker.

Weather cleared and the wife went to Juneau while we did some comparison tests down below. Fluid Film blew their minds. Eating at the Captain’s table tonight. Wife didn’t join me. A little miffed by my absence.

Day 5: Another beautiful day. Was going to explore Skagway but the Captain requested a brief meeting. Talked about Fluid Film’s beginnings in the marine industry and the serious cost savings due to the high solid content. Slipped on deck before heading to shore and twisted my ankle. The crew took me back down and iced it while the wife went ashore. Had a few beers and some good laughs. Those are really nice guys. Wife not speaking to me.

Day 6: No ports today so the crew gave me a tour of the ship. Discussed the use of Fluid Film for existing rust. They want to buy a couple of drums. Knocked my head below deck and got a nice bump. Got back a little late and the wife locked me out of the cabin. Slept in deck chair and froze my *ss off.

Day 7: Looking forward to enjoying the inland passage but became engrossed in discussing Fluid Film’s eco-friendly application and ability to stop corrosion from salts and fertilizers. One of the guys has a brother who is a golf superintendent. Wife threw one of my bags overboard, but missed the one with the case of Fluid Film. Good thing. I’d promised a few cans to the crew in exchange for thick blankets for the deck chair. It’s cold out there at night!

Day 8: Departing the ship, got a huge sendoff from the Captain and crew. Felt like a hero. Can’t find wife. Think she might have gotten off at last port. Slipped getting off the ship and bruised my tailbone.

Day 9: Arrived home to find house completely empty. Went out and bought deck chair to sleep in. Not bad once you get used to them. Wife called to say she’s coming home but I can’t mention Fluid Film anymore. I was so happy I went out and bought her a car. Salesman was a great guy. Gave him a can of Fluid Film and put one in her glove box. Never know when she might need it.

What a vacation! Alaska is just beautiful!

DISCLAIMER: I was never tackled by airport security. The people at TSA are doing an excellent job in keeping our airports safe and their employee's have always treated me with courtesy and respect. Now, if they would just use Fluid Film...